Barnadictionary !!!

SUIT UP
To put on a suit.

CRAZY EYES
A symptom visible in women—only by men—in which the peculiar appearance of the eyes serve as a precursor to serious, erratic behavior.

SLAP BET
A bet between two parties in which the winner gets to slap the loser. In the event that a slap is administered in error, the slapee shall receive a specified number of extra slaps, as deemed by a pre-appointed third party. ("Slap Bet Commissioner")

FORTRESS OF BARNITUDE
My home. An awesome place, custom designed to promote all things Barney and prevent all things couple. Also see: The Barneysphere, The Barneyland Ranch.

GRINCH
A four letter word you can never call a woman.

LEMON LAW
The Lemon Law may be invoked if, at any point during the initial five minutes (300 seconds) of a first date, either party deems the union hopeless and elects to abort said date in the interest of time and/or self-respect. Receipt of this card hereby absolves the GIVER from any "hard feelings" or "questions" from the LEMON LAWYEE relevant to the discontinuance of the date, which may be terminated for any reason including, but not limited to: tawdry attire, breath, homeliness, misplaced/excessive body hair, Long Island accent, public school education, bad credit, no credit, suspicious odor(s).

Addenda:
(i) GIVER may waive the Lemon Law should LEMON LAWYEE immediately consent to a no-strings attached "stand," duration of which shall be no longer than one (1) night.
(ii) The terms of this agreement are non-exclusively transferable, in deference to the emergence of the Lemon Law as a "THING."
(iii) In the unlikely event of a simultaneous invocation, parties shall enact one (1) "high five," with neither party officially assuming credit for the Lemon Law issuance.

PHONE FIVE
Exchanging a high five via the phone.

RACK JACK
(rak-jak)(Latin) v. To steal a wingman's quarry. Often times with malicious, pre-meditated intent.

COUGAR
A cougar is an attractive, sex-crazed, middle-aged woman, usually found prowling airport bars and smoky pool halls in search of nubile flesh. Look around you — most likely there's one training her eyes on you right now. She's a predator… a vicious carnivore looking to feed before continuing on her ferocious way, and that's the most beautiful part of the majestic cougar: her unflagging desire to move on after a mauling. Clearly, this is an advanced species.

ROBIN SPARKLES
The stage name for Robin Scherbatsky who, during her teenage years, reached pop superstardom with her hit "Let's Go to the Mall." Also see: best form of blackmail ever.

SWARLEY
A ridiculous and idiotic name that should be henceforth stricken from any type of public record, including this one.